Pechakucha

‘Finding the Voice in My Textiles’

20th February 2020 was International PechaKucha Day! On this day in over 1,200 cities all across the world, PechaKucha speakers alike shared their creative stories, stories which have shaped their personal lives. In Vol.41 an eclectic collection of talks from speakers across our community in Otautahi Christchurch were shared, Mine was one of them.

Watch here or read along with the slides below.

Instantly freaking out…hands shaking…heart beating…what am I going to talk about…what images will I show…ahhhhh

This was my honest reaction after receiving an invitation to do this talk. As much as I am terrified of public speaking I knew I would have to say yes, as the idea of saying no is one I knew I would regret.

I often struggle to share my story…who I am…what makes me excited…what inspires me…my passions. I’m not the biggest talker ever, so I express myself in other ways.

I had a conversation with a friend recently i had basically found myself happily surrounded by a large community of creative inspiring people

…collaborating…sharing their stories and ideas. I was content with quietly being in the mix feeling as though I finally I had found somewhere I fit in…wow. But, I found myself looking for a deeper connection and asking myself: does anyone really know who I am? My friend asks: what are the most important things we should know about you?

Internally I was like “ahhh I don’t even know the answer to that right now, my career shouldn’t define me?” …But I said, probably my creative work, I wake up thinking about it I go to sleep thinking about it, I should probably start working at least 9-5 on it, but it’s a constant for me, a constant roller coaster of ideas and emotions

…it’s my life…its my story and it’s how I express myself.

Hi my name is Bella, Bella Roake, Bellzie, occasionally…Beelzebub or Hezbollah. I’m a Textile designer…artist…creative…maker…daughter, sister, girlfriend…dog loving, tango dancing, colour enthusiast, hoping to spin some better yarns

I have discovered that I struggle when it comes to describing my work. I almost go into a defensive mode of being afraid of how to word something or that I might say the wrong thing. I’m a bit of a perfectionist…I’m a perfectionist… and it totally trips me up. And in saying I struggle

to describe my work…I struggle to describe my story, which shouldn’t be so hard to tell as it’s a reflection of my life…my values and where I stand in the world.

Yes, I’ve learn't the hard way, nothing ever seems good enough…but i realised its a fact of life that nothing is ever perfect

Kids learn through playing and well…so do adults. What we make and think about is playing so we should stop stressing so much because you shouldn’t get stressed playing…right?

An old friend shared an insight with me. It had struck him that all his life, Picasso was experimenting and playing with whacky ideas. At the time people hated it,

but he kept on playing and having his own fun making his weird stuff and now everyone worships his creative mind.

So who cares what so called experts think or your inner critic, it’s more important that we play with our weird ideas and make something we love, most people are never brave enough to do that…

‘A Letter to my Land and People’

was a research-led textile collection I created in 2017. I see this work as the start of a cross-pollination of worlds in my current and future work. It sort to amplify mindfulness of our interplay with the natural environment. It embodied a conscious awareness of the impact humankind has had on the New Zealand landscape and its intent

was the invocation of physical and metaphysical relationships embodied in pattern and form.

I worked with these questions…How can a textile be a visual representation of the impact humankind has had on the New Zealand landscape? and…Can a textile imbibe awareness of the spirit or essence of a place?

We used to write letters by distilling what we wanted to say in first and second drafts. It wasn’t so we didn’t waste our paper, but to create a refined letter so that everything we wanted to say was still there. The reader could then unpack all references and subliminal messages as they read it, finding layers of meaning. This is how I distilled my research.

These familiar layers of meaning were made using colour and form…including a history of attitudes…European and indigenous cloth elements and a landscape evolution through symbolism. All ideas to be held as a constant reminder of how we treat our environment.

Today we live in the Anthropocene…the current epoch,

a period of time where humans have significantly altered and influenced the earth’s natural systems. It is global…it is a fact…and to put out the fire we have so speedily lit, we will have to come together to recognise that the natural world will disappear in the smoke if we continue to go forth in the mindless way industry has pushed us.

New Zealand is portrayed to us,

and the rest of the world, as a ‘pure’, ‘clean and green’ landscape. A sanctuary from our polluted modern existence, a land free from our daily consumptions and outputs…a false narrative. People don’t want to criticise but thats

bullshit…it’s a maintained perception and defended even in the face of obvious and overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Are we really happy with where we’re at?….because I don’t think we are.

I used a combination of processes and symbolism to distill my letter. I looked to the remnant of native bush and it’s overlooked value, to the sheep that carved the hillside and provided us with fibre, and the endless fields, that divide and stretch far and wide across our land.

I looked to my Scottish heritage, to Harris Tweed.

I wanted to be able to create a textile that could be recognised as a cloth from New Zealand…like Harris Tweed is easily recognised as being Scottish. I wove my cloth on a loom, in the tradition of my European background. I found similar patterning and crossovers between European and Maori weaving, both done by hand but in different ways.

My collection ‘A Letter to my Land and People’ is a challenge…Its not decoration and it’s not just for keeping you warm. It holds all my thoughts and considerations, carrying and embodying issues I want you to be aware of and address yourselves. It’s an on going conversation… This letter is addressed to you.

Challenging myself…ideas…norms. Giving a voice to things that don’t have one or that need more people giving it one, is what I’m passionate about. I’m a lover of making things by hand…I believe that slow making is important and needs to be a bigger part of our future. Play, play, play and don’t forget to talk about it…especially with pride.

Thank you

Photographer: Laurent Youm

Event Space: Tūranga City Library

Bella Roake21 February 2020‎Tūranga